Queen of Chipper

077. What?


Hermione has read every prenatal book she can get her hands on, muggle and magical, and she’s confident that she’s as prepared as she can possibly be for this pregnancy.

What she’s not prepared for is other people.

“My goodness, you’re so big already!” a coworker…

So very right on.

Via Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.



Ronmione ❤❤❤


You can’t just take fanart that a bunch of other people did from the internet and repost it uncreditted! Not only it’s rude, it’s art theft.

From top to bottom:

Too many ankles by reallycorking

At Shell Cottage: Nessum Dorma by lillywmw

Hermione and Ron by Perey

Safe with me by mudblood428

Ron Hermione: Hands by anokaba

The excuse of not knowing the artists is getting old; if you don’t know, you can’t ask anyone about it or you don’t care to look it up like I did, the solution is simple: don’t repost it.

Also: never rub a pregnant lady’s feet. Strange but true, it can trigger early labor.

Via See you walk away into the night

This Is What An Athlete Looks Like

I get jostled to the back of the pack because other runners assume I’m a walker. I’m not fast, but I run. (Not this year. I’m a lazy, waddle-y pregnant this year.)

  • Mom: ' well you need to call them and ask.'
  • Me: I dont think you understand how much i cannot do that.<p>Replace mom with "other adults" because I totally am an adult and need to do adult things like have tree branches trimmed and wiring repaired but those industries haven't caught up to pizza service in the online ordering capacity.</p>
Via This Blog Does Not Contain Bananas










some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

i would just like to mention that a few of those spots have made me incapable of movement because of how intense the pleasure was. i melted and kinda just collapsed. do not ignore these erogenous zones and your lady will thank you for it

All of these are correct, but this disregards a woman’s largest erogenous zone: her mind.

As far as I’m concerned those boobies can be switched off in favour of amping up the neck

Old married wisdom here for the fruits and nuts in the audience: Her body might be a wonderland, but if you can get inside her mind….. anything you touch will be bliss.

Now… I’m a sucker for a backrub - or a footrub.

Thing is, each person is different. Someone will be a quivering puddle from a gently cupped elbow. Someone else whimpers at the mere thought of a slow stroke up the calf. You touch my inner thighs, I will deck you. That’s no fun.

(Source: biencorrect)

For women, heart attacks look different.




Follow me down the rabbit hole for a second:

I’ve long wondered if this - that women don’t recognize the symptoms of a heart attack in themselves, and consequently don’t get the fast care that is vital for heart attack survival - is the reason heart disease is the #1 killer in women. Women statistically take better care of themselves health-wise, than men do. Women see doctors more frequently and are more likely to follow those doctors’ recommendations closely. Why would both men and women have the same most common cause of death?

Heart attack symptoms in men are well known. We all know what it means when a guy on TV clutches his chest or left arm and falls over. This scene is often followed by a rush to the emergency room in an ambulance, and a shirtless guy being shocked back to sinus rhythm with the electric paddles. “CLEAR!” Right? Everyone knows that’s what a heart attack looks like. Because of TV.

Except you can’t show a topless woman on TV - and you can’t defibrillate a woman in a bra. So victims of heart attacks on TV are *always* male. Did you know that a woman having a heart attack is more likely to have back or jaw pain than chest or left arm pain? I didn’t - because I’ve never seen a woman having a heart attack. I’ve been trained in CPR and Advanced First Aid by the Red Cross over 15 times in my life, the videos and booklets always have a guy and say the same thing about clutching his chest and/or bicep.

And people laugh when I tell them women are still invisible in this world.

Things I did not know, but should.

“The study found that 42% of women who have heart attacks never experience the “classic heart attack symptom” of tightness or pain in the chest. Instead, they may develop pain in the back or jaw, light-headedness, nausea, vomiting and shortness of breath.”

I remember reading about this earlier, this is important to know.

Also watch for sudden and inexplicable nausea, severe dizziness and disorientation, and sweating. Women don’t have dramatic heart attacks - they have symptoms that look like flu, so they just wait for the symptoms to pass.

On a somewhat funny note, I mentioned in a CPR class that women usually don’t have the classic Redd Foxx heart attacks… and got crickets. I am officially old enough to be out of touch.

Via This Blog Does Not Contain Bananas



And another tame one.

As an old married lady, this speaks to me on an emotional level. This is….. *grabbing bottle of chilled water*

Yeah. Very adorable. Lovely. I’m liking this quite a bit.

Oh my… this indeed resonates with this old married lady, too. This is unhurried, worshipful, sensuous.
::contemplates early bedtime for wee ones::

I had to decide i was more hungry than tired and get up to eat. Pregnancy is full of awesome adventures.


We got an offer on our house! Now to buy a new one.


i bet juliet capulet would be that facebook girl who claims to be in love with her boyfriend of two weeks and says “age is just a number!!!!1!!”

and mercutio would be that friend that comments “and jail is just a room”

Via We're sort of a forever kind of thing
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